#include <microsoft/stdio.h>

#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#define INSTALL  HARD

char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

void read_partition_table(void)
{
        write_new_partition_table();
        write_W98_boot_loader(EXTREME_PREJUDICE);
}

void set_time(void)
{
        read_BIOS_clock();

        if (test_cpu_temperature() > 80)
                set_BIOS_clock_to_summertime();
        else
                set_BIOS_clock_to_GMT(); /* Gates Microsoft Time */

        /* Since windows assumes the BIOS clock isn't universal
        time  ...
        */
        windows_clock = ((bios_clock + rand(24)) % 24) * PI;

        if (user_complains())
        {
                remind_user_that_bugs_arent_going_to_be_fixed();
                popup_and_recommend_user_buys_windows_y2k_defiant();
        }
}

void check_mail(void)
{
        int i;

        for (i = 0; i < num_mail_messages_unread; i++)
                if (strstr(UnreadMail[i].Subject, "GOOD TIMES") ||
                        strstr(UnreadMail[i].Subject, "JOIN THE CREW"))
                start_microsoft_frontpage_97(REMOVE_WEB_SITE, "C:\")
}

void if_modem(void)
{
        if (default_browser() != IE40)
        {
                dump_netscape();
                set_invalid_host("www.netscape.com", ALWAYS);
                download_latest_patch(IE40);
                install_ie40();
                associate_file_type(".BMP", IE40);
                associate_file_type(".JPG", IE40);
                ....
                ....

associate_file_type(".EXE", IE40);
                default_mail_reader = WORD97;
        }

        mail_system_registry_to_microsoft();

        remove_current_isp();
        set_current_
isp("WWW.MSN.COM", CHARGE_BAND_PREMIUM_RATE);

        if (sun_microsystems_java())
        {
                remove_sun_microsystems_java();
                install_microsoft_hacked_java_instead();
        }

        check_mail();
}

void hex_dump(void)
{
        for (y=0; y< 32; y++)
        {
                for (x=0; x<20; x++)
                {
                        printf("Ox00%c%c", hex(rand(16)),
                                        hex(rand(16)));
                }
                printf("\n");
        }
}

void blue_screen_of_death(void)
{
        set_screen_color(BLUE);
        hex_dump();
}

void create_general_protection_fault(void)
{
        switch (rand(4))
        {
                case 1:
                        display_general_protection_fault(WORD97);
                        break;
                case 2:
                        display_general_protection_fault(EXCELL);
                        break;
                case 3:
                        display_general_protection_fault(IE40);
                        break;
                default:
                        blue_screen_of_death();
                        break;
        }
}

void main()
{
    read_partition_table();
    if_modem();

    while(!CRASHED)
    {
        display_copyright_message();
        display_bill_rules_message();
        do_nothing_loop();
        if (first_time_installation)
        {
            make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
            do_nothing_loop();
            totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
            search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
            hang_system();
        }
        write_something(anything);
        display_copyright_message();
        do_nothing_loop();
        do_some_stuff();
        if (still_not_crashed)
        {
            display_copyright_message();
            do_nothing_loop();
            basically_run_windows_3.1();
            do_nothing_loop();
            do_nothing_loop();
        }
    }

    if (detect_cache())
        disable_cache();

    if (fast_cpu())
    {
        set_wait_states(lots);
        set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
        set_mouse(action, jumpy);
        set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
    }

    /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
    /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
    printf("Welcome to Windows 98");
    if (system_ok())
         crash(to_dos_prompt);
    else
        system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

    while(something)
    {
        sleep(5);
        get_user_input();
        sleep(5);
        act_on_user_input();
        sleep(5);
    }
    create_general_protection_fault();
}